You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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