Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
