What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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