You can't special order awesome
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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