that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
