: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
