this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
