He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
