It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
