My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
