I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
