It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
