2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
