Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
