My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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