Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
