I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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