dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
