its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
