Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
