How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
