We're facebook friends in real life
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
