Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm passing your future prison.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
