So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
