So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
