No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
