Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
