If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
