I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize