Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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