will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
