im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
