We're like a lot better than the average bears
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
