; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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