Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
