its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
