I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
These tits shall not be calmed
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
