Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Panties = found
Randomize
