Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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