My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
