Fuck appropriateness.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We're too hungover to prance.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
