my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
