Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
