C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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