oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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