At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
