I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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