Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i love accidental penises.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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