I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Say something about gay babies.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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