Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
