you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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