ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
