why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
