im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
