nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
