I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
