"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
