I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I want a musical about memes.
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