I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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