My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
